The Dilemma

The Dilemma 

 

Arishtnemi stood in awe as Rishi Valmiki unfolded the story of the young prince of Ayodhya. Story of a prince from a kingdom that was the heart of the Bharatvarsha. A county that was situated in the north of the mighty ocean and the south of the snowy mountains. Whose glories were heard far and wide for its righteousness and virtuousness… 

रघुकुल रीती सदा चली आयी, 

प्राण जाये पर वचन न जाई।

*‘Raghukul riti sada chali aayi,

 pran jaye par vachan na jai.’

 

*****

 

A leaf fell near his feet. Bending down gently he picked it up. It was a tiny leaf from the giant Neem tree. It had a sharp tapering corner and had dried up so much that literally all its veins were showing. The palace walls were lined up with these trees. They added not only to the greenery but also purified the air. Ram brought it near the centre of his eyebrow and felt the tingling sensation as he placed it a few inches away from his eyes and then gently he let it go.

 

It was time for him to go down. He could hear the bells ringing from somewhere far on the other side of Saryu. To see the sunrise from the palace rooftop was something that Ram loved. From the top of the parapet, he could see the bird view of the sleeping city coming to life. Dim lanterns would illumine the houses and slowly people would walk out of the house to start their daily chores by going to the Saryu to bathe and offer their obeisance to the sun the *kuldevta of their empire. 

 

He walked towards the corridor guarded by the royal guards. The guards stood alert, holding spears with reverence that had a tiny flag of the empire tied around it. As Ram walked in front of them, they bowed down one by one in obeisance. Ram acknowledged each and every bow with a smile and gave due respect to them. 

 

The palace *dasies were up and about in the morning hours busy changing the *torans and making fresh *rangolis. They lined the walls with intricate mosaics made with flour, *roli and *chandan. Ram’s attention went towards the little dots made on the ground. The dasi tactfully joined the dots with various colours and made a fully blossomed lotus. It was lined with various colours on its border, looking stunningly beautiful on the palace floor. Ram’s gaze went outside towards the pond in the garden. It too was filled with exotic varieties of lotus. The sunrays were tenderly touching them and slowly they were opening their petals. 

 

‘Look he is here!’ A soft voice echoed from the end of the corridor. The queen mothers had just arrived from the inner chamber. The three queens of Raja Dashrath always stayed together except for the retiring hours. They shared a very rare bond. They looked upon each other with admiration and respect. They were all blessed with children but the apple of their eye was Ram. Ram loved the attention he got from everyone. And he never failed to reciprocate the love and attention to them as well.

 

‘Look at him. How weak he has become! All tanned in the forest. Imagine our *rajkumar walking the paths strewn with thorns and pebbles… one who deserves velvet carpet wherever he goes. We will not let him go anywhere now.’ Rani Kaikayi said brushing his thick hair with her hands lovingly.

 

 ‘Oh, Ram is just too young to have gone for *tirth!’ Subhadra cried. ‘This is the age one looks for fun and frolic. And he was surrounded by sages and seers. They have taken away his smile. Son, what makes you so sad? Your lips curl to smile, but your smile has lost its charm, ever since you are back?’ Tears welled up in Subhadra’s eyes as she searched for the smile she was looking for in Ram.

 

 ‘The weavers are coming from Varanasi with the best silk they have. We want you to choose the best cloak for yourself. After all, you are the prince of Ayodhya, and we are going to have kings from all over to see for your welcome *pooja. Your father has invited people from far and wide so that he can introduce our future king to the world.’ Kaushalya said with a smile, her heart swelling with pride looking at Ram’s sturdy body. He was just a small boy when he had gone to the *Gurukul for his education and now he was a handsome young boy in teens standing before her.

 

 After his return from Gurukul, the queens hardly got to spend some time with him that again he made a tour of the pilgrims, slaying obnoxious demons here and there that came his way. Ram was an ardent devotee of his father and never refused his commands. Everyone was quite disturbed to hear that he was again leaving the palace. The palace fell silent when he left. The queens waited with bated breath for his return from the pilgrim. 

 

The walls of the palace got a new life with the return of their prince. Joy reverberated in every nook and corner.  The queens were exulted and spent most of the time preparing exotic food to serve Ram with their own hands.

  

The entire population of Ayodhya loved him so much that every day they would assemble near the royal gates. Ram would go to the parapet of the palace wall and make himself visible to them. The crowd would cheer with exuberance *‘Sri Ram Chandra ki jai’ as soon as they got his glimpse and waved out to him as long as he was there. The love for their prince and his presence made their hearts bloom.

 

Everyone wore a bright smile the day Ram came back. The sound of the conches reverberated in Ayodhya. Bells rang with the joyous peal that was heard all over the city. But only a few could see that Ram did not look so happy. He seemed to be lost with himself. It seemed that he had lost his smile somewhere in the journey. He had become more introspective and spent hours brooding over himself. He hardly spoke to anyone. He preferred to stay alone and walked in palace corridors all by himself, shunning the company of his beloved brothers as well. Though he was showered with lots of love and attention but somehow, he did not seem to enjoy all that. 

 

*****

 

Arishtnemi was piqued. ‘Ram had the best of the best. Why was he sad then? What made him lose interest in everything? All he had to do was name a thing and his doting father would have got it for him from any corner of the world.’

 

Rishi Valmiki looked at him with an amiable smile. ‘*Rajan, he had gone for tirth yatra. A journey to sacred and sanctified place which purifies the body and the soul. Such places are often visited by seers and saints who do a lot of penance and live a life of austerity. They do a lot of *sadhna and sacrifice and that endows a lot of willpower in them. Visiting such a place purifies the people. And a purified soul starts liking for many things. Ram’s being was  touched by the sacred atmosphere and thus dispassion aroused in him.’

 

‘But I always thought Ram was a content soul?’ Arishtnemi questioned.

 

‘Yes, of course. There is no doubt about it. But there was a point in his life when his mind was in a dilemma. He did not find any joy in the palace and the royalty or anywhere. When Dashrath got to know about his bewildered state he called him in the court. I was also present there.’ Valmiki said stroking his steel white beard that reflected his age-old wisdom.

 

*****

 

‘Ram, my boy what is it that makes you so sad. Let me know whatever your heart desires. I will get it for you from any part of the world. Why are you so sad Ram? What is it that you are looking for?’ Dashrath asked with concern in his voice as Ram entered and bowed down before all the elders present in the courtroom.

 

Ram smiled looking at his father. Dashrath noticed the change in his smile, it didn’t radiate the warmth his heart had. Just a mechanical twirl of lips, it did not make his eyes sparkle. 

 

Before Dashrath could say any further, Ram said looking outside the large window that was draped with fine muslin curtains with heavy embroidery done with golden threads. ‘Father, I see the world is brimming with faults. People look for riches and work hard to fill their coffers. They toil hard for it. And once they have it they do not even enjoy it. In the process of gathering wealth, they move away from their real nature.’

 

‘Everyone is running after something or the other in this world, whereas this world is itself not stable,’ continued Ram looking at the gota that was stitched on the border of the curtain. It glittered with additional sheen as it fluttered with the breeze coming from outside. ‘Human life itself is so unpredictable. Yet people want to live a long life. They just cater to their needs, eat, sleep and die one day. What will they do with long life when life is so full of misery and it is of no use to others?’ 

 

Dashrath looked at Ram in astonishment. The very first question Ram asked made him look at him in dismay. He was a king of a flourishing empire. His job was to collect riches so that at any point of time he was able to provide to anyone who would come to him seeking help. And here was his eldest son, the future king of Ayodhya finding futility in the very act of gathering wealth. All his life Dashrath had fought battles and won accolades that added glory to his kingdom and here was his son saying all this was a futile act.

  

‘I am upset for the desire of a long life in a human. Human life has no happiness and they want to not only live but also live long. What will they do with such a long life? What will I do with such a long life? What use is this long life if there is no knowledge of the higher self in it? Without knowledge of the higher self, life is like that of an animal. And one who lives like an animal has no value to his life.’ Ram face grew sad with these words that came out of his mouth. His eyes were still looking outside towards the sky as if searching for his answers. 

 

Dashrath gasped looking at Ram. He turned his gaze towards Valmiki, who was attentively looking at Ram. At such a tender age of sixteen, he was asking questions that had never crossed the minds of people present in the courtroom. 

 

The entire courtroom went into silence hearing these questions coming from Ram. They had never thought that their prince who was bestowed with all the comforts of the universe would have such things to say for life.

 

‘People keep looking for wealth. Once they have it, then they fear losing the same wealth. Add to this, there is competition to have even more wealth than the neighbour has. And again, the fear of losing the same wealth. The whole life goes on like this for so many people. The spirit starts getting tired, looking for peace. But it does not know how to get that peace. How can a tired body and mind give peace and happiness to anyone?’

 

Pin drop silence percolated in the courtroom.

 

 A neigh of a horse echoed from far breaking the awkward silence. Ram walked towards the arched window that had a small balcony attached to it. Made up of red sandstone there were intricate floral designs carved on its wall with gold and precious gems engrained. Ram could see a wild horse being trained to join the royal cavalry from far.  He noticed how bravely the horse refused to succumb to the trainer. As an acclaimed horseman, even the wildest horse would succumb to Ram’s presence, allowing him to ride. Ram would ride the wild beast with elan raising dust in the arena as Dashrath would look at him filled with pride.

 

But today as the trainer tried to soothe the impulsive pulse of the horse Rams thoughts drifted towards the futility of the training. His heart raced with that of the horse becoming one with it. He wanted it to go free and run on the expanses of the vast meadow, under the soothing deep blue sky. With its mane flowing in the wind and its spirit rising high with each stride. 

 

Ram closed his eyes as a whiff of air passed through him, hearing the rustling of leaves. Many leaves flew from here to there. They knew no bondage. They were free. While the ones on the tree glistened in the sunlight and played with the sunshine. Ram pondered when their work was over they just left the branch without having any feeling of attachment towards it. They knew they would lose the beautiful color and the tenderness as soon as they would separate from the tree. But they did not mind. They fell and dropped to the ground. They would dry up and would be carried hither and thither with the gust of wind. They enjoyed every bit of the journey from the branch to falling on the ground and then sitting on the wayward wind traveling the world. Withering slowly, not bothering anyone, for they knew that they were just melting into the universal elements that they were made up of.

 

‘People are attached with the beauty of the body. But that too changes as time passes. What is this body? A mass of bones, tissue, and blood! It too keeps changing. The body brimming with youth soon succumbs to old age. Then how can I get attached to this body also?’ He moved to the centre of the courtroom. All eyes turned towards him. His aura and charm was such that whoever was present in front of him would just keep looking at him, forgetting everything. Mesmerized!

 

‘People say that childhood is so beautiful … it is the best time of life. I do not see any beauty in it too! We see children from outside and their beauty, but from inside the heart the child is scared.  A child is scared of his parents, and his teachers. He is not able to do anything for himself on his own. He is dependent on others for everything. When a soul is so dependent, then where is there so much happiness? Where is the peace? Where is the contentment and joy that the world has to offer?’ Ram looked at each and everyone present there shooting his questions.

 

Everyone could feel that Ram had developed complete dispassion for life. He found absolutely no joy in anything. It seemed he was looking for some nectar of life that could fill him with answer to remove the misery his mind was trapped into. He could see no light of knowledge around and his mind was drifted to sadness. 

 

‘When childhood passes, we come to youth. Many desires rise in our hearts and mind. It is the most challenging period with so many attractions. The fleeting desires and deceiving bodily pleasures rise and give no rest to the mind. I do not see any satisfaction in the youthful period too. Time passes and we do not even get to know how it happens. Body changes. Health changes. Old age comes and yet, the body and mind seeks the pleasures which is so unfortunate.’

 

‘Then in frustration, a question comes up that what is the purpose of this life? But then its value is very little and we are not able to find any solution. As in old age, eyes are not able to see, ears are not able to hear, the brain is not able to comprehend. So when should this question arise?’ At sixteen Ram was asking this.

 

Dashrath stood in bewilderment. He was still not able to comprehend that his young son whom he was preparing to become the king of his empire was sounding more of an ascetic. 

A soft murmur filled the hall as Ram paused reflecting on the questions he had asked. He stood still looking at his father for answers.

 

 Dashrath had no words to say. Though in his heart of heart, he was feeling very proud of his son that he was pondering over such intellectual and philosophical questions but on the other side he feared losing him. The questions posed by Ram made him tremble. Cold bead of sweats came over his forehead even on the pleasant day. He did not want to disappoint his son for the questions he had asked but also, he did not want Ram to become a recluse and go to the Himalayas looking for answers. But now that Ram had asked the questions only when he had urged him to ask it was his duty to answer them as well.

 

Dashrath turned towards Valmiki for help. He noticed that Valmiki face was gleaming with joy. He was looking at Ram with profound contentment. Valmiki sensed the anxiety Dashrath was going through. He gently nodded towards him assuring that he will take care of all the dilemma Ram was going through.

 

‘Ram, you are very lucky!’ Valmiki said with a smile. ‘Consider yourself to be a highly privileged one that these questions arose in your mind.’ 

 

Ram bowed with folded hands as Valmiki said these words to him. 

 

Everyone in the court now turned towards Valmiki. They were all curious to know what the seer had to say. Their prince had posed questions that made everyone think about the futility of life. The questions had made them feel dumbfounded. 

 

‘These questions arise in you due to wisdom and not due to any pressure. Only a true seeker can think like this. Ram at the age of sixteen, when you are brimming with youth and when body and mind of most people of your age seek pleasures of different kind, you have such questions bothering you. It shows that you are now ready for higher knowledge. Also to everyone present in the court, Ram is asking these questions, not for himself but it is for the welfare of the world that these questions arose in his mind.’

 

‘It is not just a chance factor that our courtroom is graced with the presence of Maharishi Vashisth.’

 

Valmiki turns towards Rishi Vashisth. Folding his hands askes Rishi Vashisth to give the highest knowledge to Ram. 

 

‘Rishi Vashisth, today Ram stands bewildered and confused before all of us in this royal courtyard. The questions that are brewing in his mind are not just his questions, but he is asking on behalf of the people who are going to walk down this planet. His questions are not trivial. They carry a lot of depth. I seek your consent to give him the divine knowledge that would quench his thirst.’ 

 

Rishi Vashisth was a fine old man. He was also the *rajpurohit of the Ikshwaku dynasty. He had knowledge coming from the ancient tradition of masters. He did not only have the knowledge of study books and theories but also the in-depth knowledge of Vedas and Upnishads. He could sense that now Ram was preparing for a knowledge that would help him sail through not only this life but also life beyond this. And the knowledge Ram was seeking was not for his own sake but for the world to know. The knowledge that would lead to liberation for all. 

 

 

*****

 

‘Gurudev how should my behaviour and my actions be, that the world does not touch my heart? I am a part of this world and this world is a part of me. But I feel that the whole world put together is not more important than mere grass. How should I see the world which is so full of happiness and as well as sadness? And to think of it, there is more sadness. Everyone is searching for happiness and even when we come across the things that give us happiness, it does not give us happiness. They look for something more. How to change my view? How do I purify my mind?’ Shri Ram asks. 

 

‘One with a pure heart can only see that God and the world are the same. A pure heart can only see that there is no difference between the two. How do I clean my thoughts and my heart? With an impure heart, I am always worried about one thing or another. There is no end to it.’ Ram continued.

 

Rishi Vashisth blessed Ram with one hand. ‘Ram, you who were the brightest in the Gurukul have now again become a student. This is the biggest thing one can do in life. When we have reverence, we learn fast. The questions that your spirit seeks is because you are blessed with the divine grace.’

 

‘Will karma give me salvation or knowledge?’ Ram asked unperturbed with folded hands. He was keen to know what Maharishi would tell him.

 

‘Ram, just like how a bird needs both the wings to fly, we need our karma and the knowledge to scale the heights. See the world as a dream. All that is happening and what seems to be real is actually not real…. The world is an illusion, yet we have been experiencing and feeling it as real. It's like a magic that has no borders.’ 

 

‘The body is made up of five elements and so is the world. See all in one and one in all. Anyone who starts seeing the world with the perspective that there is no difference between god, the world, and me, then for him the world becomes a place to rejoice. The small mind rests in the lap of the big mind and all pain and anxiety dissolve.’

 

‘It is our highest duty to live in the knowledge and behave accordingly. When our heart becomes pure it starts seeing god in everything, the higher consciousness. And you reach the *param purusartha. Take all your responsibilities as your duty but don’t get caught in them. See the world like a seer and not as the doer. Because then you will realize that things are happening because of the higher power and you are just a mere instrument conducting his work.  Above all live in the present moment. Thinking of the past as destiny and future as free will. Hold on to your breath and stay in the NOW….’

 

As Rishi Vashisth told Ram the most subtle and the highest knowledge, the words spoken by him melted his heart. It tugged the heartstrings of all present in the courtyard. The dispassion that was there in Ram’s heart ceased to exist. The knowledge empowered him to head for the future with more maturity and meticulousness. 

 

*****

Arishtnemi saw a gleam in Valmiki eyes as he reminiscence what had happened in the court that day. Valmiki tells Arishtnemi that all of them were there, all saints and seers were present. The gods and goddesses came to hear it as well. And as they heard they too became still. For even the beings in heaven cried when they saw Ram’s dispassion. The questions posed by Ram had an universal appeal and seemed to come from every heart. His curiosity was a way to come out of the bondage that every heart felt.

 

At the time when it was being told everything felt like a statue. The world seemed to stop. Time ceased to exist. That day that knowledge was not only heard by the humans but also heard by the horses in the stable, birds in the sky, trees in the garden. The whole universe heard it.  

 

Written by

Shristee Singh

 

 Glossary 

*Kuldevta: God of the family lineage

*Dasies: House maids

* Toran: Decorative door hangings

*Rangoli: decorations made on floor

*Roli: sacred powder

*Chandan: sandalwood 

*Gurukul: education system in ancient India

*Sri Ram Chandra ki jai: Glory to Sri Ram Chandra

*Rajkumar: Prince

*Tirth: Pilgrimage

*Pooja: Prayer

*Rajan: King

*Sadhana: Meditation

*Rajpurohit: Royal priest

*Param Purusartha: The highest purpose of the Self

Author's Note

I am grateful to Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji for introducing this sacred scripture to me that inspired me to pen this story. The Dilemma is an offering to the lotus feet of my Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

This short story is inspired by the ancient scripture Yog Vashisth also known as Maha Ramayana.

The book Yog Vashisth is a dialogue that took place between Ram and Rishi Vashisth when Lord Rama was just 16 years old.  He felt highly dejected and depressed seeing the misery of the world. At that tender age Ram was filled with questions that made the sage give him answers that removed most of his doubts and prepared him for the adversities that were about to come in his life.

Yog Vashisth is a book that talks about time travel and parallel universe along with many other things. Hollywood movies like Matrix and Inception have been inspired by the text of Yog Vashisth..

What I have written in the story is not even an iota of the universal knowledge the book carries. It will be wonderful however if one picks the book to read more on Yog Vashisth, the supreme yoga. I am sharing the Amazon link from where the recommended book can be bought and read. 

The Supreme Yoga: Yoga Vasistha https://amzn.eu/d/ee41EUW

Hope you enjoyed reading the story and are inspired to read the book as well.

Do post your views.

Warm Regards

Shristee